Some folks also like to snack on some comfort food, so keep your cupboards stocked! Taking care of any minor injuries It’s important to drink water after a scene! The benefits of staying hydrated are plentiful, especially after physical activity. Plus, cuddling is a low energy activity that can soothe a submissive on the receiving end of humiliation or impact play. Cuddling helps us release the hormone oxytocin, which can reduce stress and increase intimacy. CuddlingĬuddling is known to have positive benefits on your body and your relationships, so naturally it’s a great form of aftercare as. This list isn’t all inclusive, and often, multiple of these activities are used within the same night! The goal overall is to return each other to a fair headspace, and make sure no one feels neglected or sensitive post-play. Here are ways to practice sexual aftercare. Many folks use BDSM as a supplement to healing. Because aftercare functions as an intentional check-in, it can aid in the steps toward healing from sexual trauma. Participating in sexual aftercare isn’t just for kinky sex, though. adrenaline rushes), so nothing is wrong with you.” And remember that your body is working as it should it is normal to experience hormonal drops/imbalances after experiencing to much of one thing (i.e.
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if you’re thinking you’re unworthy, think the opposite). “After acknowledging, if you’re ready, let it go,” says Garcia, “This can be done by presenting the opposite of what your mind is saying (i.e.
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BDSM and kink activity can come with shame that is difficult to unpack, and aftercare can aid in with that transition.Īftercare is like a bridge to a less intense mind space.
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While there is a lot of focus on aftercare for submissives, it’s also valuable for dominants to unwind. This means it’s important to consider what headspace you are in before you approach a scene! Sometimes a negative headspace translates during and after sex, which may not serve you in the ways you’d like.Īftercare is important for dominant partners and submissive partners. Often this reaction is linked to other stressors in the outside world (a history or trauma or existing psychological distress). Dom/sub drop may be linked to postcoital dysphoria, which is when someone feels sadness or anxiety after sex otherwise wonderful consensual sex. Whether it’s mental lashes, physical ones, or adherence to a strict set of protocols, all of that intensity requires a come down period. It’s important that partners feel cared for, especially because we want to avoid dom/sub drop.ĭominants and submissives go through a lot during a BDSM session. We should practice aftercare to ensure our partners can happily transition from the blissful headspace of BDSM play and back into the real world. “That’s when you find out what everyone needs to feel safe before, during and after a play session.” Why practice sexual aftercare? “The communication element is very important here,” says Garcia. What is key in an aftercare ritual is that one aims to address is the physical and mental well-being of their partner. “Aftercare is basically the care-taking that is done by all parties involved after a sexual experience to check in emotionally and physically," says certified sex educator Irma Garcia.Īftercare rituals are different for everyone. It can be incredibly immersive, to the point where it’s important to bridge partners back into the headspace of reality. Sometimes folks are extensively tied up, hit, humiliated or otherwise physically and psychologically controlled. Sex involving BDSM dynamics can be intense. Aftercare is, in its simplest form, a post-sex wind-down ritual.
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